my life recently.

I am not feeling so good.
mentally.

I think.. i have to do one thing.
to go on an adventure to find myself again.
like.
i think I've lost myself in a very big and messy dimension.
filled with dangerous monsters and all.
i think i used to be strong and able to finish off those monsters without any troubles.
but now its different.
i became so very weak.
very very weak.
I've lost the fighting spirit.
BUT.
im gona fight to get it back.
ironic huh.
using fighting spirit to get back the same thing.
that i dun have.

my body.
doesnt listen to my mind anymore.
it has become a lazy piece of lazy.
and many unhappy things have happened because of that.

and again i shall say. it has nothing to do with my gf.
so ya you.
dun think too much.

im guessing the solution for getting myself back is isolation.
i have to have time with myself.
and travel deep into my inner mind.
to get back the me which i want to be.

charles.
dun die.
not yet.
you cant.

even if you want to.

you'll have to finish everything you've started.
and you.
started your life.
so to bad
gotta finish it.

and stop being a noob.

maybe.
its best to drown myself with work and music.
i feel the best way to connect with myself is thru music.

not just listening tho.
doing what i do.
some knows some dont.
so ya.

=\

siao liao
hahaha
bye bye

SIGHS

My life recently has been 2 words..

'fucked up'

no its not about gf if you are thinking about that
its about me.

freaking waking up late everyday missing classes.
thats fucked up.

going home so late and still duwan go sleep.
thats fucked up too.

so many un finished tutorials and assignments.
thats even more fucked up.

and the best thing
i cannot bring myself back to the old me.
maybe i havent been trying hard enough.
and well thats fucked up too.

gosh.
i need to buck up
not fuck up.
anymore